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All the things she said


6.17.2006

im trying so hrd to 4gt..
todae woke up ed 10 or 11 plus.. she ytd nv tok to mi..her mum tek her fone.. meks tin worse..cus cant solve tins.. den she todae nvr repli alot of msg oso.. hais..i duno y.. feel tt she is avoiding prob.. y cant she jus explain properli ne.. was so sad frm ytd evening to todaes aftann.. mornin was tinkin whr to go.. cus was so angri..so sad..so pek cek.. duno whr to distress.. actuali wan go sentosa wit wei li de.. but todae such a humid dae..den.. i cried lor.. was too sad to kip my tears.. den in e end wen to bugis..feel tt tats e place i suld go..all i tot was cing her.. though now prob haven solve yet..i wan to c her face.. her face wil show evritin..so brot wor li go pasta eat..spent e stupit 9+ to eat e stupit bbq chicken pizza.jus to sit dere.. den she nvr tok to mi at all.. was lyk c mi lyk c ghost lyk tt.. den i oso nvr go tok to her..cus im afraid of her wrong reaction.. den afta eat le.. den duno she went whr.. so go b1,1st flr find her.. she nt dere..so e oni las place she wil go was to go buy bubbletea.. den i walk e escalator dwn to hope i cn pass by her wen she go up.. den was reli ryte lor..i saw her cumin up e escalator,but act s if nv c.. back facing her.. den she touch my bek ma.. den i noe nth real serious hapen lor..but stil sad.cus she stil haven tok to mi.. but got repli msg..sae beri confused.. sae i wil anihw tink..but if she nvr lyk tt,i wil lyk tt tink meh.. y cant she understd..lyk its al my fault to tink negativeli.. if i dun love her,i tink so much fer wad lor.. den i ask her whether she stil love mi.. n her ans was stil e same.." of cus i stil luv u" but did she show? hais.. i cant reli feel.. or mayb seldom feel.. den afta go wok bugis street fer no reson,go up agn..sit ed staircase..den go in pasta agn..tis tym go buy mango smoothie..waste money.. i wan c her.. i scared if i go home 1st..i wil anihw tink agn..especialli wen she dun repli my msg.. den sit dere wait fer kit cum lor..sit fer 1 to 2 hrs.. worli was so bored..but i stil ok.. tink e staff ed pasta mite tink i siao..kip on sittin dere..but wad to do? i oso no mood go shoppin.. den drink le smoothie..wei li kip on pestering mi go shop..den i bo bian..brin her go opp de icon wok.. oso nth dere lor..sians.. den afta tt go e toy shop..duno wad shop name..haha.. nex to e neoprin dere de.. den saw e soft toy beri cute..den bot 1 green soft tortoise keychain fer bibi lor.. hope she'll lyk it.den afta tt go up wait fer kit agn.. wen she walk past got touch mi..but nv tok.. den kit cum ler den go pei her order..den pass e keychain gib her lor.. den got joke bit.. though is lyk... erms. she cn laugh or wad..stil so hapi wen im sad.. mek mi recol e words tt she said las tym..said tt wen im sad she wil be sad oso.. i tin is nt true le..so i sen bek e msg to her.. den delete frm my hp.. i hope one dae,she could sincereli msg another one to mi..tin wun hapen ler bahs..hais.. but she reli cn act til so fantastic lor.. reli lyk evritin wasnt wrong.. i nth to sae ler.. im tryin so hard to 4gt wad hapen.. i hope it wun hapen agn.. sick n tired... i tink i cn reli lose more weight lor..evridae so sad.. she sae she wan mi evridae hapi de..but den...hais...duno.. afta kit eat ler den we took mrt go hm ler.. i pray tt 2mr wil be a beta dae.. hais..



* Boy , I Love You *

17.6.06