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All the things she said


6.16.2006

i hate my dae..i hate myself
todae mornin woke up ed 8.30.. did my tins den make up bit.. foundation oni..den mit kit go sch.. todae learn hairstyling..6 styles.. got french roll,tweexe roll ,chopstick,so on n so forth.. den actuali she wan cum fetch mi de.. den in e end nv...she go bugis lor.. her las mrt fare..she actuali choose to go pasta find dem den cum find mi lor.. den ask her whr she,she cn tel mi ed home..so fake lor..hais.. den i so so pek cek lor.. den she act s if nth hapen.. i oso nth to sae.. den she sae go dere check shedule,eat n find huda share cigar..but is not acceptable reason at al lor.. hais..check shedule cn col her fren ask.. eat can cum find mi ler den go eat together.. s fer cigar..i oso cn share wit her wad.. i dun understd lor.. hais.. she stil ask mi dun tink too much.. hw cn i lor.. i feel tt she lyk mash potato.. she sae oni bes fren..but.. aiya..i duno la.. anw.. she hapi cn ler.. i sad ish my prob.. she once promise mi b4 we std..tat she wil love mi n no one esle.. be loyal to mi n wadeva.. but . ... is it reli true?.. dots.. den in e end i go bugis find her.. was so moody lor.. no mood ed al.. n she nv even care.. act lyk nth agn.. i find tt i reli cant understd her.. wad was she actuali tinkin bout.. m i not a gd std?did i nv gif her enuf love n concern? i dun tin so lor.. or m i not e kind of gal she lyk or..? arh... so pek cek.. den afta tt.. oso nv reli together.. stil got huda ard.. 7 she gona mit her mum..den she drop ed bishan.. though she evritym ask mi wad hapen?y so sad.. but i guess she noe lor..wad foe ask mi.. oredi too sad to sae anitin.. dere's hidden tears in my eyes wen i smile to her fakely.. den afta she alite..tears immediateli came down.. ppl was lookin ed mi.. but i culdnt hold bek my tears.. so xin ku..so xin tong.. was reli aching.. even if u dun reli tin tts serious,but i do reli feel sad... cant u jus be lyk e wae u r fer the past few daes? ytd..i wanted to tel u that recentli i cn feel tt u love mi ler..but todae it was jus e opposite.. do u reli love mi anot?if u dun,den cn u not continue hurting mi.. i rather u leave mi.. den to let mi noe u dun actuali love mi.. mayb u mite tink tt i reli tink too much... n that mite be possible..but these words was jus wad i feel at tis very moment.. i hope it wasnt lyk wad i've tot.. i wish wad i tot was all nonsensical rubbish...hais.. i feel that u're treatin mi lyk noraml fren sumtyms.. sumtyms lyk bu ru peng you.. cus u tok to dem more den u tok to mi.. u didnt care how i feel.. u didnt try to convince...u oni confuse mi by tins that u do..e way u tok n behave.. tel mi honestli if u reli wish to c mi evridae..or not ed al.. den i cn jus not appear infront of u ed e wrong tym..wrong moment.. wads wrong wit evritin..cn u tel mi wads goin on? u did not repli my msg 8 tyms todae..i duno wad to sae.. ders's no reson behind it.. feel so miserable...



* Boy , I Love You *

16.6.06